At home, I have no luck with boys. I make bad choices and fall for people with cute eyes and then they turn out to be psychotic.. Or the normal guys think I’m far too weird to think of me as anything but a friend. Oh, the classic teenage angst!
But I’ve solved all my teenage issues, just from one trip to the town of Batu Ferringhi in Penang, Malayasia. Apparently in BF, especially at the night markets, I am the dream girl for a startlingly large majority of guys. No joke, I have never ever been so admired in all my life. It was strange, but at the same time, so very amusing! So I’ve decided to share the stories about the boys from Batu during our time in Penang.
(This may sound like a cocky, up-myself post, but I am seriously just documenting what happened in B.F.)
The first night we went to the markets, we were amazed at all of the stuff, and all of the people. Usually the markets are big in the day, but closed at night at home, so it was a fairly new experience to be out at night. What you also don’t realise, is that the sun goes down at 7 pm and before you know it, its 10 pm and you’re still at the markets! A very surreal experience.
The other surreal thing? The boys smiling at me. The boys watching me. The guy with Bieber-hair and cute eyes taking my hand and asking where I was from! Had I fallen into an alternate universe here? Since when did anyone care where I was from?? Weird for me. Weirder still when only a couple minutes walk from Beiber-boy, another guy took my hand and was asking about me! Couldn’t really fathom it, to be honest. But then things started to get funny.
The cute guy asked me to breakfast, but my parents said no dice, unless they came as well. The second guy, he asked me to drinks. I told him I was 17 and that question of “is this legal…” crosses his face. He decided it was, and asked me to dinner. I told him I was forbidden to date without my parents coming (not exactly untrue..) so he asks me to coffee. Not allowed without parents. So he asks me to coffee as friends, nothing else. I laugh and escape.
Two guys pull up in a car, and ask me to drinks. I tell them I’m 17 and their shock is hysterical to me, but then they too decide my age is fine for them, and they ask me to the beach. At 8 pm at night. I shake them off and move on, trying to find my family.
Bieber-boy asks if I’ve brought him some dinner. He doesn’t even know me and he thinks I’m bringing him dinner?? Poor, poor deluded soul. His friend decides to ask for my Facebook, and as he tries to put his hands on my waist, I run away. Just like a little girl. He was amused, at least.
And so things go on for the next two weeks. The same guy at the market calls me Miss Pretty. A guy who tries to sell me handbags stage-whispers “Wow!” when i walk past. The guy working at the restaurant on the corner where we get Nasi Lemak takes to giving me a knowing nod when I pass. I don’t know what the nod means, but I’m not thinking anything good. The kebab guy gives me a knowing smile when he serves us dinner. Three random guys start coughing like maniacs when I walk past, yelling “woaaaaah!” which of course makes me crack up. The guy my sister was going to buy M.A.C off asks me to coffee. A guy starts calling my sister Miss Kate and looking for her each night. Boys blow kissy sounds as they ride past on scooters.
I also had a confrontation with the second guy at the markets to ask me out, and he’s telling me his heart will never recover once i leave. Of course, I laugh st this and tell him he’ll be fine, and I am a very mean person. I try to explain that he can only like me for my looks, and he says no, he doesn’t like my looks. I crack up, and he admits “Okay okay okay okay, I do like your body..” More arguing, he tries to ask me to dinner again. He tries to get me to talk to his friend who will vouch for him. And then he tells me he doesn’t remember my name. True love!!
And then on our last day, everything comes to a head. My sister, my mother and I all go out to get our nails done, and a massage for me. We don’t have enough money so my sister and I have to go back to the 7/11 to get money out. When we come out, these guys call to us and as we turn around, we see the guy who can’t remember my name, and the guy who likes my sister, standing together. They wave to us and I ask “Do you ever sleep!?” Then they start telling us they can follow us or something and we bolt for it. But before we escape to safety, they ride past together on their scooter and wave to us and beep, then drive away laughing.
Then that night, as I’m trying to eat my dinner, the kebab guy comes past to serve another table and smiles at me. I smile back and think that’s it. But then right before we’re about to leave, he comes past again and winks at me. I pretended like I didn’t see him, so he comes right into my view and winks, slowly and deliberately at me. It was too much, and I absolutely cracked up laughing. That was when my mother told me I should blog about all of the boys there.
The one good thing that came out of the guys liking me though? They’re more willing to bargain and cut prices down, and the M.A.C guy my sister bought makeup off last night, he gave me a freebie! Yeah its fake and not worth the price in the first plaxe, but hey, I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Take it and be glad!
So there is my collection of all of the crazy guys in Batu Ferringhi in Penang. These stories still make me giggle, and no doubt will for quite a while to come.
And if people in Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, or Laos are the same, I expect there will be a few more boy anecdotes.
